Stuey's Stew: A Recipe for Grief, Remembering, and Radical Kindness
- Melanie Lutz
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 22 hours ago
This story and recipe are adapted from Melanie Lutz's book Everything is Soup: Sicilian Wisdom, Nourishment and Recipes for a Delicious Life. Because sometimes the most loving thing we can do is make a pot of stew and invite others to the table to sit, listen and share.
Mourning those we’ve lost can catch us without warning. It can drown us.It can connect us.It can startle us with the depth of its intensity.
In grief, the details arrive first.
What they loved. How they laughed.The small, unseen things they cared enough to do.The way they showed up in the world.
We hear these stories during celebrations of life, in grieving circles, with friends over coffee. And in our world, we gather around the pot to make soup.
As memories are shared, the vortex of connection quickens. Kindness surfaces. Care becomes visible. Love, once embodied, now moves through story, through ritual, through food.
Their presence, so beloved, is now gone.What remains are letters, voice notes, objects held close.Favorite meals.Recipes that carry memory.
We’ve been through a lot as a community.
And when words fall short, we cook.
A Recipe for Grief and Remembering
Stew for Stu
Lovingly known as Stuey’s Stew is rich, grounding, and deeply nourishing. A warm, earthy stew meant to hold both sorrow and strength.
This is the kind of stew that feels like a hug made of safety and laughter. Encouragement and support simmer quietly beneath the surface. It’s an invitation to sit down together, to be fed, to remember that we are not alone.
The base is beef, marinated slowly with a pure-gold spice rub to build depth and warmth. The flavors are patient. Nothing is rushed. This stew understands time.
It is inspired by a simple, powerful philosophy:
All who eat this stew are welcome to get their ass kicked by kindness.
Jewish. Italian. Vietnamese. Russian. All are one at the table.
This is a stew about coming together for the greater good — about forgiveness, quiet strength, and the release that happens when grief is allowed to move through the body and into nourishment.
Stew holds the well of grief while offering something steady in return. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t need to. It simply shows up.
This recipe is dedicated to Stu — to his wife, his children, and to the kindness he put into the world. May it continue to ripple outward, ladle by lad.
STUEY'S STEW
Like a warm hug of safety and laughter, with a mix of encouragement, support and connection. This earthy concoction is all about coming together for the greater good, marinating beef with a pure gold spice rub to bring depth of flavor. Inspired by an ‘all who eat this soup are welcome to get their ass kicked by kindness, whether you are Jewish, Italian, Vietnamese, Russian — all are one — coming together in sharing loving stew full of quiet strength’. This stew is rich and loving. It holds the well of grief released in the depths of power as it also offers forgiveness. See for yourself. This stew recipe is dedicated to Stu, his wife, his children and the kindness he put into the world.
Pick out a nice hunk of meat. Get Into the Smooth Flavor Grooves by Selecting a nice hunk of meat and prepare to Marinate, (pictured here 4.8 lbs)
After marinating in spice set for the stew, sear the meat in a pan to keep meat juices contained in cube during the slow cook for succulent delight.
3, Add ingredients to the slow cooker, we love a 'crock pot' cooker. This go around we did high and a four hour cook for melt in your mouth goodness.
Drop in the vegetables. We love potatoes, carrots, and onions with a rosemary sprig, or thyme.
Love takes time to create delicious loving nourishment.
6, It looks so good. Dish onto plates. Serve to loved ones. Enjoy the quiet grace of time together.
Leftovers are better the next days.
“Stuey's Stew recipe brought tears. Thank you!" – Linda
Stew is a savory seeding, coaxing itself into being, voices whispering from the pot, warm up, and prepare for the opera of opulence about to unfold. A stew is the best of the depth of our beingness on earth when we’ve connected so perfectly with the earth as to become it.
There is no greater love you can bestow onto a family style meal than to bask in the effortless glow of stewed meats and vegetables. The world is reborn in a stew pot.
“Spira, spera. (breathe, hope)” ― Victor Hugo
When we gather over the fruits of our savory homey stew the world is an open door wherever you look. May you find yourself in peace and purpose as you walk through the doors that open on your way.
What Heart and Soulful Soups Are You Making?
STUEY'S STEW RECIPE
Flavor Energetics
Honoring family with easy loving get ready for the goodness vibrations
Nourishing power of the ancestors remembering everyone who ever loved you is available to you while you cook and eat and serve
Slow cooked caramelized kindness
Key Ingredients
Marinated beef with deep spices (grounding + rejuvenation)
Ginger, garlic, and chili (awakening + soul spirit connection)
Carrots (sweetness + depth)
Cumin (ah, the warmth that makes the heart sing)
Turmeric (boost metabolic processes + increase circulation)
Ingredients (Serves 6)
For the beef:
2 to 2 ½ pounds boneless beef chuck or brisket
(cut into 1½-inch chunks)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
3 tbsp ginger (minced)
5 tbsp fish sauce
2½ tsp five-spice powder
1½ tsp brown sugar
For the rest of the stew:
3 tbsp oil
2 stalks lemongrass (remove tough woody parts, cut into 3-inch lengths)
8 cloves garlic (minced)
1 onion (sliced thinly)
4 tbsp tomato paste
8 cups water
1 1/2 tsp Cumin seeds
2 cups pure coconut water/juice
2 star anise
1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground mix of turmeric
1 tsp paprika
8 large carrots (peeled, cut in 1½ inch chunks for rustic, loving memories)
1 tsp salt
3 tsp soy sauce
3 tbsp chili oil (to taste)
1 package egg noodles (optional)
¼ cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1/2 cup thinly sliced raw onion
Lime wedges
Instructions to serve
1. Garnish with cilantro, basil leaves, if it speaks to you, and raw green onion tops.
2. Serve with lime wedges and lots of love.
Radical Pairings
• A sesame challah bread, tender rice, or wide, slouchy noodles—whatever comforts you most. This stew doesn’t judge; it holds space.
• Pour a quiet whiskey. Nothing flashy. Just you, the glass, and a moment to feel it all. This is a stew that honors silence as well as kind loving actions in honor of Stu.
• Leonard Cohen playlist stirring memories into the air and big deep bowls of stew to warm your heart.
• Add a lion figurine on your altar. Not for show. For strength. For presence. For remembering
• Sip a glass of chilled Frappato—light, earthy, Sicilian—or a homemade lemonade steeped with basil
🧡 Traditional Sicilian Blessing
"Chin Don!” Meaning 100 years of good health and happiness or for fancier occasions. “Cent'anni e prusu" which translates to 100 years and more.
🧡 Traditional Jewish Blessing
"Zekher tzadik livrakha" (זכר צדיק לברכה) May the memory of the righteous be a blessing. We honor those who have passed away, knowing their life was one of righteousness and their memory continues to inspire others.
If you have any inspirations or ruminations, please let us know below.
May your stew pot honor your people, ground your grief, and warm your heart and hands. May stew be your call as you heal, explore your passions, and nourish your communities. May this stew fill your belly, soften your edges, and remind you who you are. May every bite carry the strength of your ancestors and the sweetness of your becoming.
We give cultures and traditions all the meaning they have.
This stew is survival, in slow-cooked perfection. Stews ease us through life, after play, after work connecting us to the eternal source. They are especially helpful when we miss someone so much pain catches in our chest, when the golden chain of connection eventually replaces our loved one’s physical presence — we remain in conversation. Through memory, through steam rising.
Eat slowly.
Love deeply.
Toast Stuey if you make this stew
Play a game in his honor
Where
Sweetness meets depth
Brightness meets shadow
Love surrounds us all.
---
Melanie Lutz
All Systems Love
Everything is Soup: Sicilian Wisdom, Nourishment and Recipes for a Delicious Life
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